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Frequently Asked Questions

Read Me OR PERISH!!!

Were You Involved In The Disappearance Of Heinz Schittharder?

No.

Where Were You Between The Hours Of 3AM-5AM On The 28th Of September 2009?

NOT EATING MY FATHER!!!

Did You Think He Was Beans?

WHAT THE HELL, WHY DO PEOPLE KEEP ASKING THIS??? WHY WOULD I THINK HE WAS BEANS? BECAUSE HIS NAME IS HEINZ?!?! THAT MAKES NO SENSE!!!! IF ANYONE ASKS ME THIS AGAIN I WILL REPORT YOU TO MY LAWYER!!!

Where Is Your Father?

I. Don’t. Know. IF I KNEW I WOULD BE TELLING PEOPLE!

How Tall Are You?

7ft exactly.

What’s The Weather Like Up There?

bad.

Why Are You A Goth?

IDK WHY ARE YOU NORMAL????????????

Why Do The Village Children Throw Apples At You?

I DON’T KNOW! I DON’T WANT APPLES THROWN AT ME! THEY HURT (BAD)!!!!! Probably because of the VICIOUS RUMOURS about my CANNIBALISM that were PROVEN 110% FALSE!!!!