CONTRARY TO RECENT POPULAR NARRATIVES, I AM NOT A GHOSTLY PAIR OF UNDERGARMENTS TERRORISING THE WORLD WITH FECULENT SLIME!!!

I, GRAHAM CRUMB, AM ACTUALLY A GOOD AND TRUE PERSON, AND I DO NOT APPRECIATE SUCH SLANDER AND MOCKERIES MADE BY A PARTICULAR FELINE NE’ER-DO-WELL. I WANT HIS WRETCHED SCREAMPLAYS RETRACTED FORTHWITH, AND REPLACED WITH WHOLESOME FAMILY WRITINGS!!!!

WHEN MY KIND BUT FEEBLE FRIEND LESLEY WAS LEFT UNABLE TO AFFORD MEDICINE FOR HIS “ROTTY LEG” AFTER GIVING ALL OF HIS MONEY TO DONKEYS, IT WAS I WHO HELPED ORGANISE A  CHARITY FESTIVAL IN HIS HONOUR.

 AND WHEN SAID FESTIVAL ENDED UP BEING OVERRUN WITH CONFUSED LESBIANS , I REMAINED CALM AND RATIONAL, AND WELCOMED THE LADIES TO OUR TOWN AS I AM TRYING MY BEST TO BE AN ALLY TO THE LGBT COMMUNITY!!!!!

I AM DIFFERENT NOW, AND GOOD. SO

HAVE A HEART, STOP THE SLANDER!