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LES AID 2: A QUEER EXTRAVAGANZA!

by Clifford Head

Last year, a simple festival intended to raise money for one man's "rotty leg" medication became an inadvertant queer extravaganza. Then, in 2026, Les Aid returned, now with the pride element at centre stage.

"I'm having so much fun!" said Les, man of the hour, sat atop a pink dyed donkey at the front of the high street pride parade. "Some of the beetroot dye is coming off on my trousers, but that is okay because pink is a very pridesome colour!" On his head was a glittery rainbow cowboy hat, and he held a large flag with stripes of blue, yellow, and pink. "I did a lot of online quizzes and spoke to the pretty ladies, and found out that I am pansexual!" Les continued. "It is super cool to be not just an ally to the LGBT community, but actually in it!"

Ron Dover of Ron's Buns sold burgers with his limited edition "rainbow sauce." "Each bite of the burger tastes different because you're biting into a different stripe of sauce," said Dover. "Sweet chilli, spicy dragonfruit relish, yellow curry, jalapeno relish, spirulina mayo, and red cabbage coleslaw." Also available, and for free, were Les's special sandwiches, containing lettuce, garlic mayo, bacon, tomato slices, and queso cheese sauce. "I had to change my idea because people said that grapes and quiche don't go in sandwiches," said Les. "These sandwiches are much nicer."

The Les Aid charity jumble sale raised over two hundred pounds for queer charities in the greater Grinton area. "It is very heartening to do this because I am a good person," said volunteer jumble sale cashier Graham Crumb. "If any people or cats try to call me old or mean then you should know that it is not true!"

The Les Aid committee have informed me that Les Aid will also be happening next year, and they hope to turn it into a yearly tradition.

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