Okey so recetly I decide to be doing something new writin other than mine screamplays. I want to be doing more writing in more generes to become DA MOST POWERFUL WRITER EVER so to be doing that I want to WRITING A NOVILE. ziggy did it with his STINKING NOVILETTE “”””ziggisis big day”””””””’ so it canot be so hard if that doofers is even doing it.
anyway this is a story i have been dreeming up for a while now. i was going to write it screamplay, but i reason that it is TOO POWERFUL AND PERSONAL with MUCH SPECILE EFECT to ever be made a movie staring Rodger Dowdy Mister.
Chatper One
In his house in the subers lives a smal but incredibly mity cat named Dillon. He was a long-hairy type of guy that had GLORIOUS black and white furs, including on his tummy a round black tummyspot that was nice to be petted on.
Though he was the most person who live there, and undoubtingly the most in-charged there was also other sort of FAMILY GUY such as his mother and uncle and grammar and grandpar and two brother name Loki and Ziggy who were POOEY and NOT FUN AT ALL!!!
“Hmmm,” said Dillon, most smartingly. “It is already the best day for me as I am eating food and having jsut a small sleep and everything. What is even make it better???”
And Dillon was not yet knowing the type of adventure he was about to do.
In the corner of da room Loki was readin a book prending to be smarte even tho he was unsmartly and FAT, and Ziggy was chewing on a ball of skunched up paper like a drippling and droaling fool type guy. Mother was doing mother-type actifities such as pushing and pulling da broom all about the place even though ALREADY IT WAS SO CLEAM!!!
Then… Suddingly… a knockapon the door.
Mother shuffles homefully toward the door and open it. And then… GASP
Standing before there, wering his royal BLACK SUIT and SHINING KINGLY CROWN, was the man himslef KING CHARLE. He looked serious and his eyebrowes were like a shelf of hard feelings.
Mother got down on her knees and handings like a total idiot and wailing in respect to DA KING.
“whatever bring you here to our humple aboding?” she say.
The words come out of the king’s face like a wind of aufority. “get up, thou crazywoman. I am here in your house looking for a certain guy with a particuler set of skills.”
“Hweh,” Loki squonk smugly. “It must be me as I am so clever and always reading books.”
“Not so much becuse one you are not smart enough and two you are too fat to be sitting in chair for this particler misson,” say king.
“Darnt,” Loki burpt unsmartingly.
“Yes, I am needing a type of guy with sleek, narrow buttocking,” king continued.
“I have that,” said Ziggy, not-so-trueingly (he was not as fat as Loki but more a sort of medium fat. but that is still fat).
“no you are not, stop lying,” king say. “I actually came here for…. Dillon. I read his blog and it is clear that only he has the smarts and particler qualities that I am needing.”
Dillon walked forward, looking so cool and hamsome and very bisexual. “Heh… Well look at that, Kingy… It is Dillon who is the most needed one. Oviosly.”
“Dillon,” say king. His eyebrows got even more flat and shelfly. “I have invented a new type of special plane for DA ARMY. It is a small, fast plane ment to flying at very high altertundes. As a result the planer to fly the plane needs to be small….. and veryhairy in order to staying warm up there. we did try a monky but he was not clever enough. We need…. The worldse smartest blogging cat. We need you to flying this plane.”
“Wow. I have never tried being a planer before but I can try to do it,” Dillon say, very hamsomely.
“Etserlent,” king said. “Get in mine limmerseen and we will go to DA ROYLE AIR PORT.”
Chatper Too
The Royle Air Port was a place of much noising and busyage. So many hamsome planers were walking around wering their green jackits with fuzzy hood that look like mane of a hamsome lion. You can tell even though king have a marrige already the site of somany hamsome planers did stirr some tender feelings a little bit. Some of the planers did not have any shirts on and were rubbing down the limmerseen with DAMP RAGS.
The two of them got out of the limmerseen and walked down all the line of strong, mity planes. These were the planes of the Royle Army and were for defending the country from bad villains such as World War 2, which was so old ago now that it was in black and white and when the last dinosoares died fiting for our contry.
Eventual they come to a smaler plane, which was about the size of sitting in by a cat. It was a bit scratched up a bit from when the monky planer crashed it a little, but that is okay because it is aufentic battle damage.
“This is experermental plane Cool And Truthful Soaring, which is shorts for C.A.T.S,” say kings charle. “It is for only the strongest and bestest and most important missions, and we think you are the best guy to be its planer.”
“Piece of tuna,” dillon say so cooly. He puts on a pare of cool goggiles and his own little green planer jacket. On the back is embroydered “DILLON: ADANCED PLANER.”
“Okay dillon your first mission is to go to the Dark and Evil village of Gribley and use ur Rekonessance camera on the plane to spying on the bad dooings there.”
“Easy mission,” Dillon snarfed replyingly.
Dillon presed a button on the front of the plane and the transparent plane lid open up. He got in and close the lid agen. The seat was smale and comforble and had ROOM TO SPARE due to Dillon’s MIGHTY, TRIM PHISEEKE. On the control panel there was a bunch of buttons including a go button and stop button and a steerin wheel for going left and rite.
He pressed on the go button and the plane sored up into the air. On the ground, he see king shed a single teer as he flied away.
“godspeed, bravest catting,” king said, saltootin with his swollen, kingly hands.
Chatper Three
It was so fun doing flying in the air. Dillon saw the sky and the tops of all of the trees and the birds in the trees were SLIGHTLY PERTURBED at the sight of a cat being able go up so high and enter their domain and maybe later he would be hunting them they thoat.
But for Dillon eating the birds was not so much his pryoritees. He was flying to the evil village of Gribley to take photos of the villains that were living there. With much skill he looked out of the plane window and looked at all the signs to see if he was going in the right direction. He knew that Gribley was near to some other places such as “Grunton” and “Grinton,” so when he saw those words on the signs he knew he was in the rite sort of place.
Then… as he approach gribley, a terrible stinking filled his nostrils.
“This must be Gribley,” he smarted thinkilly. “Becuse I can smell the gream bean and chocolert gatoe scented farts of mine NEMERSIS graham crumb.”
He lowered the plane so that it was hovering down the street and started taking photos with the plane camera. There were such sights as teenager name DENNIS letting cows out of field, a feeble oldman LESLY who leg was rotting away like a moldy cheeses, and a sinistre factory where DONKEYS WERE GRINDED UP INTO CANNED DONKEY MEAT FOR EVIL CONSUMPTION!!! Dillon took photos of all this and more. It was the most shocking and bad village he ever did see.
And then, finally. The most evil of all. That bad man Graham Crumb was standing on a street corner next to a OFFICIL ROYLE MALE POSTBOX and he was shouting into the postbox and posting very many letters. These were letters to the king probaly and Dillon chuckled to himself a bit becuse the king was his frend now and would not ever listening to Graham about anything!!!
As Dillon was snaping the photos Graham Crumb noticed the planing, and tried to chasing him. But Dillon was fast in his plane and he went too high up and Graham was slow becuse his legs were like a pare of nobbly old trees all gross and crusted upon.
“Curses upon you, satanic sky baby!!!” Graham Crumb burpt unbrainfully.
“ha I wil not be doing that becues I am in the sky in a plane and planing so good,” Dillon rored. “the king is my friend and not your friend and you do not be shouting into his post box because it is not doing any good.”
Grame crunt shake his pitifilled fist and crying and stamping his foots. He says that another time he will get me but I think that he will not.
Chatper Fore
Dillon walked cooly into the king’s royle officing, holding the printed photographes of the sinsiter villains of Gribley town in his mouth in his teeth making smale hole in the photograph like hole punsh. The royle officing was so oficial and rich for being royle, and all of the papers was made of gold and all of the pens and pensiles have DIMONTS on them. this is all the tresure you can aford if you are king and you ernt being king by being born out of queen previose in life. and the king did that.
“golly jolly,” the king say. “that is a lot of photographs of the vilains of Gribley town such as denis and the donkey meat bandits and of corse that devil Graham Crumb.”
“Yes,” Dillon said, “and I have resonage to believing that that devil Graham Crumb had a sinister plot to hurt you and your kingness and all of your kingly parts.”
“What? That is so scarious! What did he doing?”
“well, he was shouting and screaming into the post box and letting all of his screamings bild up in the post box like a ANGRY SCREAM TORNADO so that when you open the boxing on your rounds to collect ur ROYLE MALE all of the screaming would come out and blast at you and damage ur kingly ears or even may be esplode you and yore skin and bonings.”
“Big grat,” kingly shutter. “I will have one of my servant imps with big ears go to defuse that screambox. He has big ears to the large screaming will go into them easily and not hurt him. My ears are only about medium big which is larger than usuale but aslo can be damage by loud sounds, but an impse ears are big and my imp servent will be okey.”
“that is good,” Dillon replying. “I would not want THAT DEVILE to hurting the ears of even ur servant imps.”
Chatpere Fife
In tha EVIL GRIBLEY VILLAGE, a servant imp with HUGE, FLOPPERLY EARSE LIKE GREEN FUNNILES careful aproach the royle male post box holding the golden kingly key (borrow from his bossing).
“royle male...” he thinks. “b4 the sad deathing of his magesty royle mother THA QUEEN from prime ministing mrs rotting lettis head who used her dark magicking agenst her, it used to be called ROYLE FEMALE and i rember that. that was a sad day. but still i have got to defusing this scream box.”
he opening the door of the scream box and all of grames’s SCREAMINGS come out in a big round scream tornader like a loud tunel. and the imp atervate his large ears and SUCKS THEM DOWN HIS HEARPIPES like mother eating MICROWAVE NODLES and eating them all grose like.
And he ear-swalowes the tornader and goes “delishus soundfood to fuel mine imping” and burpse out of his ears. And grame who was watching in tha corner from be hind a wall shakes his head failingly.
Chatpere Six
Tha next day, Dillon went back 2 tha king’s royle offise to recieving his next mission.
“Good morning Dillon,” king said. “I am hoping you had a good sleep in the specile apartrements of the royle air force.”
“yes I did,” he reply. “I am especial like the extra soft cat bed with electricity blanket and a piece of fancy chicken on the pillow. And the private computer for blogging and watching anime fite scenes on YouTubes.”
“and I think you should be happy to know that mine servant imp manage to suck up that nasty scream tornader into his ears and he ate it up as delicious soundfood.”
Dillon snirk. “Heh. Etsatly to planning. That devil Graham Crumb will not succeed in his mission to hurting you.”
The king made a seriouse face. His eyebrow shelf was as hard and as seriouse as may be a shelf in a librery cover in books. “As long as Graham Crumb is allow to live I fear that mine life and the lives of all cool ppls will be in danger. The next mission is… to killing him….”
Dillon kind of gaspe a little bit just a small one out of shock of bein ask to take a LIFE OF A PEOPLE (even Grame is a PEOPLE). But he knew it HAD TO BE DONE AT LAST for the safety of all cool ppls and cats such as him and the king and other ppls like cool lyins and tiges. And he BRAVELY about it. “yes sir, mr the king. I will KILLING THAT GUY!!!”
“Great. I have loded ur plane up with guns and bombs and nives and allathat kind of stuff to do the jobbing.”
Chatpere Sevin
With a bravely heart and a natural wild spirit, Dillon got back into the mity C.A.T.S plane, which was all kinds of souped up with guns and rockits and a knife on the front of it for doing the job of killing that devile Graham Crumb.
The plane sored up in the sky so high high high past the cloads and the stars and the sun and moon and where all the frendly aliens were hanging out. It flew a bit forwed and then tilted and went DOWN so fast and loud like mother droppin a shampoo bottle in the shower flyin to the sinister evil village of gribley like also a perergrim falkorn.
When it was almost at the ground it started flyin again all level and the shockwave of it made SEVERAL HOUSES LIFT UP AND FLY AWAY AND CRASH like kicking a mopoly board and a lot of the pieces go all over the place. And all the peoples come out of there houses wich some of them landed sideways and they peep with there eyings and whisper at the great hero who is flying about in his plane.
“Bring me GRAMHAM CRUMB!!!” said the hero, heroingly.
There was an awful noise. There was an awful STINK. A NASTY FARTING at least ten times worser than mine grandpar’s fartings rippled through the village. It was so bad that the church fell apart and crumbled like old cake until it was just a HEAP OF STONINGS. God didn’t want to live there anymore with THAT RACKET going on.
“WELL WELL WELL,” said a dark and wizardly voice. “MY PLAN TO BLOW UP THE KING WITH A SCREAMING POSTBOX FAILED BADLY. SO I WILL HAVE TO KILL… THE ADANCED PLANER.”
it was….. GRAHAUM CURM. FLYING IN THE AIR PROPELL BY HIS FARTINGS FROM HIS BUTTHOLE, WHICH CAME OUT OF HIM IN A NASTY JET WITH STINK LINES COMING OFF OF IT!!!!!
“GRAHAM CRUMB!!!” Dillon say.
“if you are flying in your plane, it is only fair that I am flying too for our final battle,” he snargle. “I ate all of the canned donkey meat and it gave me the power of FLIGHT from aiming mine buttockpipe and ripping a BIG ONE!”
“Gross…” dillon say. “mine planing is power by renewable fules like soler panels and kingly shampayne, which is clean and not smelling.”
“YOU ARE NOT BETTER THAN ME STOP BEING BETTER THAN ME!!!!!!!!!!!”
Dillon goed “ha. Well the obvious of who is beter is easy 2 see it.”
They start flyin around all over tha place and bangin into each other making MIGTY SPAKRS and the SCRAPE OF GRAHAM’S OLDMANLY TOENALES LIKE FIVE HOVES OF GOTE IN EACH FOOT all nasty like were scrapin about makin so much sparks it was like a small fire. And his fingernales were like bad cutlerly or may be like shels u find at the beach and all the scrashing on the lid of the plane made it kind of hard for him to see outside a bit.
And dilon shooting lasers from his planings mity gun and it is making blisters on grahams skin like a big narn bred or the top of a lasanya all crubbly and bumply and GROSSE!!!
With all of the fiting the village ppls of grilbey look on in SHOCK AND OUR at the spectacle in there skys. They point and ooh and some of them fall over from lookin too hard at it. And some of the ppls like belvey and gurning and other ppls of the town who were cheerin for GRAME start cheerin out DILLON DILLON DILLON insted on acount of he ovios bestness.
Then…. with a mity spikin from the sword bayernet type thing on the front of his plane like a pointy nosing…. Dillon SPIKES graham crumb rite in the tummyparts. There is a terrible poofing of nasty donkeyfart gassing…. Graham SCREAM and fly around all crazy like a balone without a knot in it to keep the air in and mother let it go and all out of him spiraling tornadoes of nasty gassing and he final crash to the ground all EMPTY and FLATTED.
Dillon lands the plane and walks over and looks at his DEFARTED CARCASS. It is all floppy and grose and the last of his gaseous powers is coming out of him in a pafetic wining like ziggy’s voice all weeehhhh. “I gess there was nothing at all of substence in side of him. Just a winkerly OLD man skin with no organse or bonings or even brane at all. It was all rotten farts inside of him wich made him mean and bad and unholesome,” he says.
The last dying pootoots of graham whined out “curses you…. god and the devile have made our rivalling and we will be fiting for ever in cosmic battle… I will be back……”
Dillon scriffed. “okay well i donot think that this is the case but if it is i will continuing fight you.”
And with that…. Graham died… Badly.
Dillon goes back into his plane and flies away….
Chatper Eite
“so you completing mine powerful mission?” says the KING in his royle officing. He ticks off a check list on his GOLDEN CLIP BORED with a GOLDEN PENSILE and it is on GOLDEN PAPER.
“yeas,” say Dillon, looking so cool and mighty in his planer jacket.
“well, congratulations, adanced planer. Or shode I say……. PIME MINISTRING!!!!”
“whoaaaateeee????????”
Yes after all of his hardly workings the king decide to make dillon his pime minstrring and right hand man. this ment he got to move into the big house in DOWNER STREET (I think that is what it called) and all of his famly such as mother and loki and ziggy got to go there to be his servents.
On the day of his corenating dillon shake paws with LARRY the prevoiuos cat pime ministering and larry put the crown on his head.
“you will do a good job,” larry say.
And as Dillon sit upon the pime ministerial frone he announce his first law.
“EVERY CATTING MUST HAVE CHICKEN GIVEN TO THEM EVERY DAY, AND NASTY TIN FOUIL IS OWTLAWWED!!!”
Everone cheering…..
THE AND
and that is the ending of mine first novile and I think it is much superior to ziggy’s STINKING EFFORTS. if u like it then i am glade and happy but if u did not keep ur CRITIKES 2 urslef.