DINKMAIL - Crappy Poo Year
Dear Dillon,
Well, where do I start? Happy New Year, I guess. Or, and I do not take sinful words such as these lightly; CRAPPY POO YEAR, YOU MONSTER!!! You have finally done it. You have successfully ruined my life. Clifford Head has given me a temporary suspension from the concerned citizens group for my so-called “online harassment,” and my god-daughter BEVERLY is ON HIS DAMNED SIDE!!!
But this is not the end. I am starting a letter-writing campaign to THE KING OF ENGLAND HIMSELF in order to get your sinful website taken down, and force you to write me an official letter of apology for your crimes. You may have won the battle, BUT IT WILL BE ME WHO WINS THE WAR! AND THEN THE KING WILL HAVE ME KNIGHTED FOR MY LIFE OF SERVICE IN GUARDING THE NATION FROM MORAL THREATS SUCH AS YOU.
- Sir Graham Crumb, Knight of Righteousness
Okay… Well that was prety GOTTAM RUDE! And also funny, becuase I didn’t’ ruine anything!!! I have jsut bean here minding mine own business, and you were the SAD OLD MAN who came here and START MESSING WITH ME!!! I think your godauter Belvey is right to THINK YOU ARE WRONG AND BAD!!! THE KING OF ENGERLAND IS NOT GOING TO GIVE YOU THE TIMES OF DAY!!! YOU WILL HAVE POO AND EGG ON YOUR FACE, AND YOU WILL NEVER GONNA BE A “SIR” OF ANYTHING!!!!