DINKMAIL - I Don't Even Know What's Going On…
Dear Dillon,
My name is Clifford Head, and I work for Gribley Town Council. A member of a local citizens group that I co-ordinate recently brought your blog to my attention under… confusing circumstances… and I thought I would message you in the hopes of clearing the air a little. To be honest, I don’t even know what’s going on, as I have found this situation rather hard to follow.
It is of my understanding that you are not a resident of Gribley, yes? A previous post of yours suggests that you do not even know where our village is located. In this case, I have no ability whatsoever to carry out any threats that may have been made towards your person (or catson, if you are, indeed, a cat as your blog suggests), and I apologise for any distress that has occurred. The person that sent you these threats is a rather troubled citizen of Gribley, and I would suggest taking whatever he says with several large grains of salt.
Said citizen has been temporarily suspended from the group pending disciplinary action, as this has not been the first time he has gotten himself into this kind of situation. I will be keeping an eye on your blog in case of further harassment.
Yours Respectfully,
- Clifford L. Head, BA (Hons), Gribley Town CouncilUmmm… Well, thanks you for messaging me Ciffold. It is nice of you to agree with me that GRAHAM CRUMB is a STUPID AND NOTSOGOOD TYPE OF MAN! I hope he is band from your club forever, to be Homest.
And do not be worry, I was not even slightly scared by what he said. Reports of me hiding under a blanket and crying after receiving the threats have been greatly exaggerated by my brother Loki, and are not to be considered accurate reporting.
I donot kno what a “Bahons” is but it sounds very importment.