I Am Going ADVENTURING In The Garden

So a couples of days ago mother came home with some thing strange in her shoppings bag. It was long and thin and LUNIMOUS YELLOW LIKE THE CLOTHE OF A BUILDINGS MAN. It was…. A leash!!!

And then she put it on me LIKE A DANNED AMINAL! RESTRICTING MINE MOVEMENTS!!!!!!!!! It was like a fetching yellow vest that STOP ME FROM GOING AWAY. And then she open the backed door and… Just let me go outside? huhh?

The backed door for my whole life has been a misterious portal that I am not allowed to go out of very often. It is only really to go to vet or to go fresh air held by mother, or even mine fiendish attempts at runnings away which I do never really get very far. I know rougherly the places like the garden path and the hedge and the grassy lorn and allathat from looking out of tha windows, but never before have I been able to esplore so much with mine own paws.

And I am going out wearing mine fetching yellow vest, and a long rope come out the back of it with strap around mother’s rist, and I drag her a longs behind me like A BIG FAT USELESS! So while it may look and even feel like at first I am being RESTRICED and HUMILERATED by the stoppings of mine movement, it is actuelly MOTHER who is BEING WALKED! I am trottings ahead in the lead where I belong and DRAGGING HER ALONG LIKE SHE IS THE LOWLY SLED OF ME LIKE A SIBEANEAN HUSTY! And mother realy does need to feel the touch of da sun at least a few times b4 she DIES of getting SO PALE AND MEALY that she turn TRANSPARENT and then INVISIBILE!!!

I saw a bird and even another randem cat who was PROBALY SO JELIS THAT I GET 2 TAKE MY MOTHER FOR A WALK!!! LIKE… HE JUST WANTERING AROUND ALL DAY NOT EVEN WEARING A FETCHING YELLOW VEST. LAME!!!!

but aslo geting to take mother for a walk has its shortcomings. There is such a thing outside as “fleez” which is a tiny buge that can live on ur fur and suck ur blood (GROSS AND SCARY!). So to be safe while ADVENTURING I have 2 be anointed by a SPECIAL STINKING POTION. It goes on the back of mine nek and radiates a powerful magickal ora dat warns fleez to STAY FAR FAR AWAY BUCKO!!! Just and exarmple of the sorts of powerful spells u can cast if ur mother has TWENTY POUNDS 2 SPEND!!!!

So yeh from now on I can go out in mine fetching yellow vest and take mother for a walk on mine leash whenever I’m want except from at night times. I am going 2 adventure all over the garden and see all the sites and the historic civerlisations and all the way to the BACK FENCE and stuff. I will tell u some of my adventures but not all of them becuse I HAVE TO HAVE MINE SECRETS!!!