...

Some time ago, I was goed to vets; this sort of place that is all white and smells of bad chemicals where I get pierced with needles. I don’t know why humans make go me to this place, and the needles hurt, but whatever. The ladies there call me handsome and pet my head, so I tolerate.

But this time, it were different. As well as regular needle, I get big needle, full of small metal man name of “Michael Chip.”

“He is only size of grane o’ rice,” say vet. “And if you go lost, he will make find of you.”

Yeah? Well he hurt me. He hurt my neck. And I bet, when I’m sleeping, he IS SENDING MY DATA TO ELTON MUNT TO TURN ME INTO A CYBERTRUCK!!!

So when I goed home again, I expertly remove “Michael Chip” from my body. It came out so easy and small, and was indeed about size of grane o’ rice. I kick it away to make it hidden, and no human ever ever find. I won so easily and it wasn’t even hard.

Then, months later, I got taked to vet again, for more needles and head pats. And they beep me all over, with “Michael Chip” finder. He he he, I think. They will find a shortage of small metal Michaels in my body.

But that will not do. It is now mandatory for all cat to have “Michael Chip” inside of him. I don’t know who passed this law or why, but it CHEESES ME OFF TO OBLIVION AND BACK AGAIN!!! Hello. Hello?!? I didn’t vote for this law?! And GOVERNMENT PUT MEN NAME OF “MICHAEL CHIP” INSIDE MY BODY WITHOUT ASKING I IF GOOD WITH IT?! BIG TIME WRONG!

They could’ve asked me. I am very approachable. And I say no, of course. If “Michael Chip” make me found when I go lost, then maybe I want to be lost? Did you ever thing of that, BIG GOVERMENT?!

And they put another “Michael Chip” inside my body. This time, I can’t find to make go out of me. So I guess that’s just it. I wait until get found missing, and THEN TURNED INTO CYPER TRUCK BY ELTON MUNT!!! That’s not fair. I’m pro choice, and I only choose chicken to go in my body.