After mourning the loss of my executive crevice in which I used to dream up my screamplays, the motivation to create has FINALLY hit me one more. No get me wrong, this is no my magum obus, but it pretty good. Hobefully this give you idea of the general scale of my talent.
Will Musclebound and the Golden Cream
A Screamplay by Dillon The Cat (Age 10)
INT. KITCHEN – DAY
In an ordinary kitchen, strong and incredibly hamsone cat Will (Short for Willon) Musclebound looks for something to eat. He has a shiny coat of black and white fur, and his face is incredibly chislted and hot, yet aslo soulfull and aproachable in a way that both woman and man cat find attactive.
WILL
It is midday time and I am hungry for my lunch. Where is it?
He look around, and see food bowl.
WILL
Bingo!
He looks in the food bowl and sees that GREAM BEANS have been mixed into his wet food! He looks shock, and gasp. He pushes the food bowl away with his paw.
WILL
GREAM BEANS in by gottam food bowl? What is this, a war of my tastebuds? This makes my tummy want to die!
Suddenly, his oafish brothers BOKI and MIGGY appear. BOKI is a grey cat woh is VERY PORTLY AROUND THE MIDDLE, and he LOOKS LIKE HE THINKS HE IS MAKE MORE SMART THAN HE IS, and he is DUMB. MIGGY is white and ginger cat who make have STINK LINES coming off of him like a POOEY HELL!
BOKI
Buh gream bean are good 4 your health and make ur cote shiny and spartly.
MIGGY
(dumly) I loave the taste of gream beams becase I do not kno an e better.
WILL
Pah! You guyes do not know whats good and bad. I’m not eaten this stuff.
BOKI
Buh… You will not get more no food because the foodgiver make you have to eat the food you are given…
WILL
You still listen to do what foodgiver said? What is you? Small babbis?
BOKI
No I am not I am ten year old same as you and I have known you for a long time. Do you not been paying atteniton?
WILL
It
were a rhemorical
question, smarthole!
WILL
And I know a really good food we can eat. I know about…
Some kind of noise somewhere go “dun dun dun!”
WILL
The golden cream!
MIGGY
That sound… Not so nice for me.
WILL
you like a gream beam so that is not a surprise for me (he does a smeeky face).
MIGGY
Okay…
Ok.
WILL
The cream lives in a golden tower guarded by an EVIL HOT CHOCOLATE LOVING OGER! She wats to have all the cream on her “beverages” so that is all gone all for herself.
BOKI
no! Not “beverages!” Those things are NOT FAIR!
WILL
So we can agreement? We go out and get golden cream?
MIGGY
Go outs? No, we are indoors cats. There is foxes and cars and the bad stuff outside.
WILL
I
am storng independed cat and i can go out if I want to. If a car try
to strike me down, I simply tell him NO Thanks You, and he is Legally
NOT ALLOWED. I just have to wait until the humans have stopped
thinking about Risks
and Hazards
and we can make leave of
this place.
INT. KITCHEN – DAY
Two dumned humans name of human 1 and human two are talking stupidly in front of backed door.
HUMAN ONE
I got so much to do today, man. Go work. Check weather four cast, cleam my teeths with the teethpaste.
HUMAN TWO
You think you have its busy! I have go two works, check weather four cast, clean teeths, decuide which menstual product are right for my busy life styles, pay mine taxes, more human stuff after that, AND make sure cats HAVE NO FUN OR GOOD THINGS!
HUMAN ONE
It is important to make sure cats do not have no fun or good things because WE ARE BAD PEOPLE!
HUMAN TWO
yes we must alway be so bad.
Human one look at back door. its open.
HUMAN ONE
is anyone gonna shut that?
HUMAN TWO
I would do it, but I think I am Too Stupid to complete the task.
EXT. GENERAL OUTSIDE PLACE – DAY
The three cats are gathered in some sort of outside place, with a road and trees and all that kinda stuf (I tink I gonna do re-serch to find out about all the stuf that is out ther lol). There is a HUGE GOLDEN TOwER on the horizin.
WILL
See that castle on the horizen? That is GOLDEN CREAM TOWER! where godlen cream is kept.
MIGGY
buh that is so far. how do we go there?
BOKI
we ambulate with our leg bones, dungass!
WILL
Umm… I don’t understand those words beceaues I am To Cool. (not becase I am dumb or any thing).
The cats go walk to warts the golden tower. WILLON is in the le ad because he is the cool and toughest. His musceles ribble like a million strong bullets and he looks hamsom and mangificant. BOKI is a round as a ball and MIGGY stink of poo lines. BUT WILLON have enugh brave to make up four the both of them.
Suddenly, a CAR try to RUN THEM FLAT!!! IT get very close, and then…
WILL
STOP!!!
WOw. the car stopp.
BOKI
How did you do that? It is imcremdible!
WILL
You see, cars cannot ran you over without ur consent. This is why being an Outdoors Cat is FINE TO BE, and it is OKAY TO DO IT. And cats kill birds sometimes which is OUR PEROGATIVE TO BE DOING.
BOKI
Yes…
INT. GLODEN TOWER – DAY
The cats arrive at the golden tower catsle and walk thru the door. It is all cool and golden on the inside and looks all shinny and stuff.
MIGGY
Wao! It is beatifil here.
BOKI
But where is the CREAN?!?!
WILL
Herit is! On the cream plinth
WILLON point to golden plinth, with can o cream in glass case. HE snek up to it and try to open it, which set of alarm which go WEE WEE WAA WAA.
The ugly and stupid OGER come out
OGER
not so dast! I nead that cream for my “beverages”
MIGGY
oh no!
WILLON pull out a sward from no where in particulars and FIGHT OGER with Mighty Passions! OGER try to pick he up in her arms to TAKE HIM OUT OF THE ROOM, but WILLON SLASHES HER MEANLY.
OGER
ouch! i am defet! the gream is now writefully yourses.
WILLON tskes the cream and HOLDS IT ALOOFT! HE DOO’D IT!!!
WILL
I DOO’D IT!!!
INT. KITCHEN – DAY
The cats all have huge bowels of cream, but WILLON has the largest and coolest with ediball gold an dimonds on top. It will all be good and nice from nowon.
BOKI
Wow, Willon, you didit. WHow di you get so smrat to think about?
WILL
HA ha ha boki, I gess I jus did.
CUT 2 CREDITS
THE AND.
Soo… WHay do you think? It’s good, isnt’ it? Yeah! Do you thing Rodger Dowdy Mister is gonna want to appear in this thing or will I have to play the main character in some kind of auteur situation. Of course, I am so humble that I would prefer not to play the main charater hahaha.
Constructive Critisism is welcome BUT MAKE SURE IT IS CONSTRUCTIVE OR I WILL GO TO YOUR HOUSE AND CRATT YOUR PANT!!!