so… it is otober, the spokey seasin of gosts and goblings and horrerble nastiemen like domald tunt. soon it will be harrowedween, where i will get all harrowed from all of the gools and witchies walkin the stretes and wailin for there candyies. some time they knok on are dore and wail “tickerteet” for our candys and are humanse give it to them out of frite. but a lot of yere we shut our curtins and go all quiert and pretend to not be home, becuse candyies is espensive to give to goles and goblings during costo livin crisers, and my humanse i thint are aren’tiesoshial, or at least shy.
but be4 all that happens i thint i shode give u a list in no particler order of mine most potent scaries. this is not enclude more usueral pederstrien scarie like bafe time and nitemare and mine inner scaryman Richard Chewing. these is bespoked specil scaries for harrowedween. i am frequent smal and trembly and are in terror a lot of times even from rare scaries, but may be this is espeshily scray and u donot read if you are smale or easy scare or ur hart and bowles is wrack with enfeeblement.
1 – spikey breth from peppymints
when mine humanse have bin out on a long jerny, such as in car to shop or to job or to clases, when they come home i like to run up to them and give them kindy nuzlings to weclom them home. but in car they keep type of food called peppymints for eating in there, and wen they eat them there breth goes all stinky and sharp like a warm, spikey wind. it is most unplesint and the spikeys get in my eye and make me squintey. i try to do the kindy nuzlings to show loving of mine humanse, but it is so upset for me to get spiked on by peppymint breth and i donot like. this is much scarie for me. wenever i here click of door open, i thint “oh grete… may be about sitsty percentage chance i will get peppymint windied all over.”
2 – some of the neiber cats
me and mine brothers in mine famly are indoors cats most of time. this mean that to go out we go not so often and only on a lede to minermise chance of get eated by hork or eager or get runned flat by fasting cars. but this is not so much the usueral, and most local cats is outsdoors cats who go all over the plase and in so much dangers prety much of the time. these guys are prety wild type guys and when they come up to the glas dore in the dinin room they use rufantumble vocablury and insultan me for my soft and gental nater. sayin that i am a pafetic litlel marsmaller who is easy steping on, or just a tiny mousing that is eated for there diner. these guys are so much werser than dillon even with rudeness to me. and the noisis they are makin fiting batles in the night is so scray wen i am tryin sleep so peacefilled in mine dreams. yowlin like gools i donot like it. i am glade i am insdoors cat where it is warm and no wilde beastings.
3 – scare of bein eated for crismis feest
okey so i am prety shure human ment this as a joking, but just thinin about the emplorcatshons of it make me uncomfitable and worry. so recent human say “this is yere we final eat cats for crismis diner feest due to no moneys for roste torky. we eatin dilon in crismis day becuse his lean tender meatings go well with crambery source, ziggy (wich is the one i am) on botsin day becuse he is smalest and everone to full after crismis day for heavy dinnering, and loki on new yere becuse his large fatings make for big mealing to welcome new year and achivin are goles.” i am wory becase otober is nearly novembre is nearly dember wich is crimis and that is not so long away. it is probaly joke but if human put me in SOOP BUCET with cutted carits and patatos and herbings and spicings i will kno i am IMINENT DINNERDLY and runaway.
4 – crushing upon from fat sleepin
so I donot want to hurtening any feelins here. unlike a sertan dillon who call ppl “fat butting” and “portly stinkin” i donot unsalt the bodes of other ppls and cats. if you are a bit fat then u are alrite to doing it, and it is not ashamable. i still thint u are reel cool ppls and as wide even as u like. there is diferint in this world like large cat like tigre and lyon and smale cat like me cat and even smaler cat like merecat (i thint they counte as cat) and smaler still aminal like an ameeber. and large aminal like lelephande wich are all just as good as any other typing regardes of fat or smale. it is a spetrum like the nobel raimbow. having saying that (politey taktfilled style - i am lernin that), i am may be a litle scare of being crush by fat human in there sleepings. human having tosing and turnin nitemare style, and i am aslo on bed sleping there, and i am so worie that i get squish upon like a fragerle french quasont walkin down the street wen sudenny frate train fall out of sky upon there hed. i am scare of getting hurtied or even worse abut that. may be aslo i get crush by skiny person, like a hard fense faling from sky onto kwasont (wasont? crosint? french moon bred wich is tender and delicat). may be it is discrimernat to scare of fat ppl crushing? i cold even get crush by a bulet from a gun, wich is a smale and skiny thinging and it get it power from falling so fast side way out of gun. but there are no gunnings in my house hold and several fats ppls so i am just bein realimic.
5 – tin foul
may be this is a commen scarie, as every cat in da house are agreing me on this wun, but it make me feel so YUCKY on the insides. tin.…. foul…… that nasty shiney thin metil substance used in the kitchen for coverin food in ovan or in rappin around thins they donot want cats to touching such as house pant name stumpy monsterer who got chewing on by loki somany time becuse he “like a salad.” even tho i personal do not touchin stumpy becuse i want stumpy to growin up biganstron and even richard chewing think chewin on plant frends is no bwenno. but the CRANKLEING of the tin foul is so bad! the sound is like a milion bilion thundrings ejgrhgrijgrtjnrjngjrg so yucky to me it makes mine ears flatening and mine eyes squintening and it gose so grose to me that i am running away!
okey so that is allof the scaries that i am thint of rite now in mine brane. hopfuly u reader did not get so much afreid that you had hart attacking or voyded ur bowles. that is the most scary for harrowedween and the spokey month. i love u so bad…. godeby for nows.